10 FOR 10!





There was a display at the entrance of my local grocery store yesterday. It was of a tower built from Little Debbie Swiss Roll boxes.

The sight literally stopped me in my tracks.

My husband Kurt was half way down the first aisle before he realized I wasn't with him. I was back at the Swissonian staring at my version of the statue of David, and if the image itself wasn't enough to inspire poetry, the sign was. It read.

"10 FOR 10"

I had to read it twice to be sure I wasn't seeing things. Ten for ten. That meant all I had to do was give a store employee ten dollars and I could begin to create my own swiss roll masterpiece? My imagination ran wild with ideas. If I gave them fifty dollars I could build a Little Debbie fort. I could hide away from the whole world while surrounded by swiss roll wallpaper.

I was already grabbing reinforcement shopping carts when Kurt caught up with me and snapped me back to reality. "What are you doing?" "You're not buying those are you?" "They're not healthy". SH*T! My words have officially come back to bite me in the butt.

All those years I ran my kitchen like a donutless dictatorship. Only healthy snacks could cross our borders. I was drunk with power and I didn't care who got hurt. Did Kurt really need to eat Kashi crackers while watching the football game? Who knew!?! But that's how I played it.

Well now it was my football game and Kashi had yet to create a good cake roll. Which meant I was screwed.

Why did I want this stuff anyway? I thought I had outgrown childish indulgences. How could one properly placed display undue all my hard work? Those grocers really knew their stuff. Unfortunately for them, I was smarter. I was not going to let them win this time. I put down the Little Debbie boxes and courageously walked away from the display with my head held high. Then I grabbed two boxes of Caption Crunch on sale "2 FOR $5.00" and continued on with my shopping.

Lisa Alex Gray

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I like ho ho's better!